For a special humpday version of Deep Thought of the Day, I offer excerpts from "40 Rock-Solid Reasons To Get Drunk Tonight"
For the complete list see Modern Drunkard Magazine.
1. If you don’t drink that booze, by God, someone else will.
3. Bad ass nicknames like Chuggybear, The Alabama Hamma, Pukey McPukerson are not awarded to people who stay home to do laundry.
6. Word on the street is the booze has been trash talking you all day.
9. Its far better to have a good time you won’t remember than a dull one you will.
10. Remember that English high school teacher you and your pals used to call Mr. McTightass? You are so starting to remind me of him.
14. If you don’t, you’ll wake up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and who the hell wants to go through life acting like a goddamn squirrel?
18. There is a 1000 percent better chance you will land a starring role in the upcoming Paris Hilton video Vegas Orgy.
19. Your lawn is so much more comfortable when you’re loaded.
26. If you don’t hunt the booze, the booze will surely hunt you.
28. Al-Qaeda forbids drinking and since when did you start taking orders from Al-Qaeda?
29. Lets face it: modern life is a shit storm and booze is the only umbrella without any holes in it.
33. God won’t stop staring at you.
38. When your coworkers ask “What did you get up to last night?” You can smile all cool like and say, “Maaaaaan, you don’t wanna know!” instead of chirping “I alphabetized my DVD collection and found out I have two copies of The Truth About Cats and Dogs! Two!”
39. Remember your childhood dream of meeting a brewery heiress and jet-setting around the world on her dime? You think that’s going to happen while sitting in your goddamn apartment watching Captain Picard surrender the
1 comments:
My favourites are #3 and #6. Thanks for introducing me to Modern Drunkard Magazine!
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