Best Costumes?

I read a recent poll in the newspaper that tallied the all-time favorite costume that men like to see women in...the winner: the French Maid. Yeah, I can see that. Probably wouldn't be my personal pick, but it is not too surprising.


















What was surprising is the all-time favorite costume that women like to see men in...baseball player. Someone please explain this to me. I'm at a loss.

Now this one that I saw is great! I may have to look into this one for next year...














Other interesting poll figures from this article...

• Percentage of pet owners who will dress up their animals for Halloween: 66%
• Percentage of Halloween partygoers who say they'd be willing to eat themed dishes such as "eerie eyeballs, entrail salsa and pus pockets": 77%
• Percent increase in overall consumer spending on Halloween from 2005 to 2006: 34%
• Amount Americans will spend on Halloween this year: $4.96 billion
• Number of Spirit Halloween Superstores that have opened temporarily nationwide in vacant retail spaces: 434
• Percentage of people who say they'd rather have "good sex" than a "good scare": 90%
• Ranking of "Bobbing for apples' inadvertently becomes bobbing for fat kid's retainer' " on Dave Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You're at a Lame Halloween Party": 9
  

Open wide...

...and say AH!

I just got back from the doctor's office, after getting slack and grief from S., my sister, and most of my co-workers about not going before now, just to find out that I have a cold.

At least I got a flu shot out of the deal.

Can I just say I hate being sick.

Fantasy Fest

As a big fan of body art, I am definitely going to have to check out Fantasy Fest in Key West sometime. I'd never heard about this until I saw it on Random Speak. It looks like a beautiful mix of Mardi Gras and Octoberfest! She posted a lot of great pics from past Fests of many great costumes and painted people...here are a few of my favs:

If it's not pumpkin...it's crap!

I love this time of year for so many reasons. One of the big ones is the food that is typically seen around the changing of the leaves. I'm a big fan of all things pumpkin. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin creme brulee, pumpkin ravioli...I'll even drink pumpkin beer if it is offered to me. And I usually hate flavored beers.

New Dance Steps

You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out...no wait...that's the hokey pokey.
How about: you put your @#$% in, you take your @#$% out, you put your @#$% in and you shake it all about...etc. etc. etc.

Good dog!

Nude Vector Painting

This is a cool site that will help you waste some time for a while. If you're into the whole wasting time thing. You can make some super psychedelic images out of a rotating 3-D naked woman...well, she's not entirely naked. She is wearing red boots.

Who makes the best patient?

Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.

The first surgeon says:
"I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds:
"Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says:
"No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in:
"You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:
"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Homage to the Presidents

Last night on Jon Stewart....I loved the collection of Stewart's two bit "heh, heh, heh" Bush impression at the end.

Hooray for Boobies

All boobies bright and beautiful,
all boobies great and small,
all boobies wise and wonderful:
the Biscuit loves them all.

Look...A seagull!

What you will read about in Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal...

-The period that is not discussed in the Bible...the 30 years between the birth and ministry of Jesus
-Jesus (Joshua in the book) had a best friend growing up and his name was Levi bar Alpheus (known as Biff because of the sound made each time his mother smacked him upside his head.)
-Together they travel to the far east to visit the three wise men where they learn about magicians, Taoism, Buddhist monks, yoga masters, and Hindu untouchables.
-Joshua's quest: to figure out how to be a messiah.
-Biff's quest: to keep Joshua from harm and to have sex with pretty much every woman they meet along the way.
-The origins of Judo (Jewdo in this case), how rabbits became associated with Easter, the invention of sarcasm and irony, exploration on the theory of natural selection, how the Kama Sutra was introduced to the West, and how an angel would react to watching soap operas, talk shows and other items on modern television.

It is a fun and entertaining book by Christopher Moore. Moore's writing is along the same line as Tom Robbins and Kurt Vonnegut...a kind of extreme absurdist style of writing. I've only read one other by him (Fluke; Or, I know Why the Winged Whale Sings...I guess he has a thing for long titles) but I'm really diggin' his style and plan to read more Moore as his books come out. Apparently a movie version of Lamb is also in the works, but you never can tell which of those projects will ever pan out.

Back in the saddle

After 10 days of being away from the proverbial ranch on the very draining travel schedule of wedding in DC - conference in Nashville - wedding in Indianapolis...I am, like Lady Godiva to the left, back in the saddle again! (Though from the looks of this rendering, she isn't using a saddle...but the idea is there.)

Am I looking forward to the stack of work and emails that built up while I was out? No.
Am I happy to be back in Cleveland where the winter is apparently decided to get started without consulting me? Not really.
Am I happy to be sleeping in my own bed? Absolutely. And that is all that really matters right now: some rest and no more travel for a while.

International humor

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

This was found to be the funniest joke in the world a few years ago by a researcher in Britain. Apparently no matter where a person was from, this joke appealed to them.

According to the research, the following is the kind of humor appreciated by different nations...
Germans, not renowned for their sense of humour, found just about everything funny and did not express a strong preference for any type of joke.
People from the Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand most enjoyed jokes involving word plays.
Many European countries, such as France, Denmark and Belgium, displayed a penchant for off-beat surreal humour, while Americans and Canadians preferred jokes where there was a strong sense of superiority -- either because a character looks stupid or is made to look stupid by someone else.
Europeans also enjoyed jokes that involved making light of topics that make people feel anxious, such as death, illness and marriage.

Across the board, jokes mentioning ducks were considered particularly funny...this is why I opted for the classic cartoon above.

A Roast of Mark Foley

"After being caught sending explicit emails to underage boys, Florida congressman Mark Foley has resigned. So his seat is up for grabs, which is what got him in trouble in the first place." --Jay Leno

"This is like the worst thing to happen to congressional Republicans since last Thursday. ... Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile." --Jay Leno

"ABC is reporting that Mark Foley interrupted a vote on the House floor, stopped the House floor vote, so he could have online phone sex with a 16-year-old. Say what you want about Bill Clinton -- he could sit at his desk and have sex and work at the same time." --Jay Leno

"Apparently he had text message phone sex with a boy during a vote on funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. No one can say he's soft on terror." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Mark Foley has checked into alcohol rehab. Yeah, when asked about it, Foley said, 'I have a problem with 18-year old Scotch and 16-year-old boys.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a different parish." –David Letterman

"So basically Pages are brought down there to perform sexual exploits for legislators?" –Jon Stewart
"No, that’s what the interns are for. Pages are just the aphrodisiacs, set the mood, get them primed. They’re the Fluffers of Liberty." –Samantha Bee

"Apparently, new evidence that just came out shows that former Congressman Mark Foley once engaged in Internet sex with a former page while a vote was being taken in the House. ... Apparently, instead of voting 'Aye,' Foley voted 'Oh God yes!'" --Conan O'Brien

"Have you all been following this scandal in Washington with ex-Congressman Mark Foley? Well, a couple of days ago, he checked himself into rehab. ... It had gotten so bad he had to go out and develop a drinking problem." --David Letterman

"The big question, of course, for this congressman, who was an online sex predator to a 16-year-old, is -- what drove him to it? [on screen: multiple newscasts saying Foley blamed alcohol]. The sauce. Sad juice. Satan's breast milk. Uncle Scotchy's anger wrangler. The active ingredient in Nyquil. That's why he did this thing. For if not for alcohol, it would have never crossed his mind. Mark Foley's problem wasn't that he drank, it was what he drank [on screen: bottle of Young Boyschlager]. Young Boyschlager. It's got real bits of young boy in it. You don't stand a chance." --Jon Stewart

"He's in rehab, which means it only happened because he was drinking. We've all done it folks -- drunk dialing. It's just that in Foley's case, it was drunk texting erotic messages to underage pages about masturbation. ... It's simple. You drink, you forget things -- especially things that could endanger minors." --Stephen Colbert

"Alcohol is an amazing thing. It turns completely normal politicians into perverts and completely normal actors into anti-Semites." --Jimmy Kimmel

"How about that Florida congressman Mark Foley? Whoa. At least the Democrats wait until the interns are 18." –David Letterman

Sign me up!

This is one triathlon that I could actually do well in...


And can anyone tell me why it is called the Spanish Triathlon? I know plenty of other nationalities that could claim this trio as their triathlon too!

Getting to the couch

A selection of Simpson intros as they race to the family couch...

Thoughts on Knowledge and Wisdom

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. ~Socrates






Whosoever wishes to know about the world must learn about it in its particular details.
Knowledge is not intelligence.
In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected.
Change alone is unchanging.
The same road goes both up and down.
The beginning of a circle is also its end.
Not I, but the world says it: all is one.
And yet everything comes in season.
~Heraklietos of Ephesos

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. ~Immanuel Kant

I'd rather be rich than stupid. ~Jack Handy