In and Out

According to the research done over at Modern Drunkard Magazine, here is a list of what is IN and OUT at bars these days...

PBR is now on tap IN yuppie bistros, therefore it’s OUT. Expect Hamm’s or Schlitz to move up IN its place.

Jager is finally OUT, unless you’re IN high school.

Bourbon, especially small batch, is IN with a vengeance.

Dive bars are IN, serving to drive the old regulars OUT of their minds.

The watered-down Jack Daniels is washed right OUT.

Bars that allow smoking in non-smoking jurisdictions are IN, so stop ratting them OUT.

Microdistilleries are IN, and home distilling is right behind it.

Texas Hold ‘Em tournaments in bars are not OUT, but they’re about to go all in with a pair of deuces.

Calling anything served in a stemmed glass a martini is once and for all OUT.

Alcohol inhalation machines are not coming IN, so long as people still like the taste of booze.

Men ordering wine in bars is still OUT, so knock it off.

Flasks are back IN, especially if you’re forced to smoke outside in the goddamn cold.

Flavored vodkas are still IN, but fruity gins will try to push they OUT.

Flavored tequila is not coming IN, ever, but small batch tequila is.

Red Bull isn’t OUT yet, but it’s looking for the door.

Rolling dice for rounds is IN, bar top video games are OUT.

Trucker hats have been emoed, they are OUT unless you actually drive a big rig or chew tobacco.

Scottish flap hats are IN.

Rye whiskey is trying like hell to come back IN, but for now it’s still OUT.

The Cosmo is IN during Sex and the City marathons at your girlfriend’s apartment, but as far as you’re concerned it’s OUT.

Sidecars, Gimlets, and Old Fashioneds are IN. Kamikazes are OUT.

Shots of well whiskey are IN.

Bitters are back IN. As are bars squeezing their juice fresh.

Blaming your bad behavior on alcohol and checking yourself into rehab is IN, as long as you’re a soulless celebrity.

Absinthe is IN, even if you’re not goth.

Marmot

Is it a marmot or a groundhog?



Funny thing about this clip is that S. and I have recently discovered a family of marmots/groundhogs living on a hill that we pass on the way to work. S. wants me to get her one of the baby marmots.

Summer Solstice

How much do you know about the Summer Solstice?

1. Which story takes place during the Summer Solstice?
A. Long Day's Journey into Night
B. A Midsummer Night's Dream
C. Suddenly Last Summer

2. Which place on earth receives the longest period of daylight on June 21?
A. North Pole
B. South Pole
C. Equator

3. What is the relationship between the moon's phase and the summer solstice?
A. There's always a full moon at the summer solstice.
B. There's always a new moon at the solstice.
C. There's no relationship.

4. The summer solstice is the official first day of summer. When does summer end?
A. At the winter solstice.
B. At the vernal equinox.
C. At the autumnal equinox.

5. Why do we have seasons?
A. Because the earth's orbit around the sun is elliptical.
B. Because the earth's rotational axis is tilted.
C. Because the earth's rotation changes direction.

Answers:

1. B - Shakespeare was inspired by the merrymaking and tomfoolery that traditionally took place during the festival of Midsummer Night. What we call the first day of summer was actually right in the middle of it in the ancient calendar, where summer was the season that surrounded the longest day.

2. A - On June 21 (and for several weeks before and after), the North Pole is bathed in light. The sun doesn't set. The days at the equator are pretty constant year 'round. Twelve hours light, 12 hours dark.

3. C - There is no relationship between the moon's phase and the solstices. The solstices are an effect of the earth's tilt and its rotation around the sun. The moon rotates around the earth according to its own schedule and is not affected by the sun.

4. C - Summer turns to fall at the autumnal equinox, around September 23.

5. B - The tilt of the earth's rotational axis (23.5 degrees) gives us the four seasons. Summer in the Northern Hemisphere is the time when the North Pole is tilted toward the sun, which gives it longer days than at any other time of the year.

Score:

0-1: Serf’s up dude… “Dude, does this day seem extremely long or what?”

2-3: Average Joe… “You can always admire what you really don't understand.”

4-5: Hey, Mr. Wizard… “Are you by any chance a Druid?”

Back in HD

Happy Humpday!

A Wine Not So Fine

Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important."

This naturally is a hoax...but that did not stop anyone from suggesting the "Top 12 Names for Walmart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
11. White Trashfindel
10. Big Red Gulp
9. Grape Expectations
8. Domaine Walmart "Merde du Pays"
7. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
5. Peanut Noir
4. Chateau des Moines
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling
And the number 1 name for Walmart Wine...
1. Nasti Spumante

via

I want to be like Becks

Notice the similarities?

Beckham Heard Ankle Snap
The 32-year-old Beckham played the whole of yesterday's 2-2 draw with Real Zaragoza, a result that kept Madrid top of the Primera Liga table with one match remaining, but he needed treatment on his troublesome left ankle after pulling up whilst running with the ball late on.
LA Galaxy general manager Alexi Lalas is awaiting a verdict on the seriousness of the ankle injury. Beckham, who is set to join Galaxy in July, said he felt his ankle "snap."

Biscuit Heard Ankle Snap
The 33-year-old Biscuit has continued to go to work all this week despite spraining his troublesome left ankle while taking the garbage out on Sunday night...OK, so maybe my story isn't as glamorous and I'm not at any risk of losing a kazillion dollar contract with the LA Galaxy as a result. But I felt my ankle "snap" just like Becks.

Plug in? No...Plug Up!

Leggo London's Logo

From ESPN's Page 2 - Week in Review Quiz

7. Identify the graphic to the right:
(a) The newly-unveiled London 2012 Olympic logo, which cost $1 million to produce
(b) The newly-unveiled London 2012 Olympic logo, which has prompted 45,000 people to sign an online petition asking it be scrapped
(c) The newly-unveiled London 2012 Olympic logo, animated footage of which was pulled from the Web amid concerns it could trigger epileptic seizures
(d) The newly-unveiled London 2012 Olympic logo, which a member of the British Parliament called "garbage"
(f) The soon-to-be-former London 2012 Olympic logo

8. The London 2012 Olympic Logo most closely resembles:

(a) Rhinoceros vomit floating in Gatorade
(b) A post-apocalyptic can of Tab soda
(c) What you see on the screen right before your television dies
(d) $1 million, dyed pink and surrounded by flames
(f) My God. It's full of stars

DYK

And now for today's edition of "Did you know...?"

In Ancient Greece, women would expose their genitals to ward of storms at sea.

Mink's are the most highly sexed animals, intercourse lasts an average of eight hours and they ejaculate up to 260,000 sperm cells at a time.

Casanova boasted that he made love to the same woman twelve times in one day.

A man' penis can stay constantly erect by applying camel's milk and honey, according to the "Kama Sutra".

Most turkeys and giraffes are bisexual.

An adult gorilla's penis is only two inches long.

The chimpanzee holds the record for the quickest sexual intercourse session at an average of three seconds.

Creative Cleopatra invented her own diaphragm from camel dung.

The word "Pornography" comes from the Greek meaning "the writings of prostitutes".

The penis of a dragonfly is shaped like a shovel and has the ability to scoop out a male rivals semen.

In ancient Greece and Rome, dildos were made out of animal horns, gold, silver ivory and glass.

Sex education was first introduced into English schools in 1889.

The Marquis de Sade was imprisoned by the request of his mother-in-law for "sex crimes".

Both humans and fish share a common sexual practice - Fellatio, or Oral Sex.

Both humans and porpoises have one social sex practice in common - group sex.

Honking of car horns for a couple that just got married is an old superstition to insure great sex.

Cleopatra inserted stones into her vagina to prevent her from getting pregnant.

Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation.

The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant.

Unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town, naked in medieval France.

The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

In Sambia, New Guinea males must perform ritualized homosexual acts until they reach adulthood.

The Rhinoceros has a penis no less than two feet long.

Napoleon's penis was sold to an American Urologist for $40,000.

The penguin only has one single orgasm in a year.

Eating the heart of a male Partridge was the cure for impotence in ancient Babylon.

A bull can inseminate 300 cows from one single ejaculation.

When a Hawaiian woman wears a flower over her left ear, it means that she is not available.

Eye Test

Which line can you read?

Would you rather...

A powerful deity decends from on high and informs you that, for reasons beyond your understanding, your life is about to change. He allows you to choose between two possible fates, and he asks you: Would you rather...a. or b.?

This is a fun site that forces you to ponder such things as the following...Just so it is out there...I'd have to go with the first option on all three of these.